Cize · Energy · Exercize · running

A before, after and now. Beachbody and changing my life.

PicMonkey CollageSpent some time reminiscing yesterday. Thinking about the busy summer of 2012. The summer I spent doing beachbody workouts, running, biking with my husband. I had energy for days it seems. Well how could I not. I had shed alot of weight and was eating well and moving constantly! I had so much energy and loved trying new things.  Beachbody offers so many different workouts it was nice to have a variety. I got even smaller than that picture on the left after two weeks doing Insanity, I went from a size 14 to a 10. Now that is insane!!

I look forward to weathering  those storms I talked about yesterday  with exercise. Exercise is such a stress reducer. By exercising and eating clean I will be taking control of my life again. God has given me one body, I need to care for that body as a gift.

 

 

 

While I am sad to see the after picture knowing I am far from that I am excited to reach for those goals again. Three weeks ago I had started running again, then about two weeks ago I ordered Cize. I loved doing Cize. Lots of dancing and lots of sweat.  But I had been nursing plantar fascitis for a good ten weeks or so and found that I wasn’t quite ready yet. Went to the doctor on Monday and confirmed I am not ready yet.

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My daughter, Ashlee and I decided to take control of our lives. She is such a huge inspiration to me. She has such a positive attitude and is ready to change her life. I can’t wait til this mother/ daughter rock this world with Beachbody.  Oh wait, we don’t have to wait. We can rock this world now!

 

 

 

But I am here to tell you as soon as the doctor gives me to go ahead I am going for it. I am going for more energy, lots of workouts, clean eating and a happier self.  I am taking this week completely off in hopes of my heals healing and check with the doctor on Monday to see if I am able to go to the pool and do water exercise. I was very excited when the Doctor mentioned running on a treadmill under water!! A lot less impact on my poor feet/heels and I could burn major calories.  Oh I can’t wait to try it! underwater running                                                                        Picture taken from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2015785/Aqua-jogging-promises-workout-strain-better-results-dived-.html

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balance · Catholic

Weathering storms and finding balance.

My story: First my story is long, very long. I have had a wonderful life full of twist and turns. I love my life, which includes God, my husband, two adult children and wonderful friends and family.  I love them all with all of my heart. Because I love them I continue to try to find that balance in my life. Balance in spirituality, family, friends, health and finances. I have had many good times and some very bad times. I have had many ups and downs. I am looking for friendships and accountability. Accountability for me and also helping others be accountable.

All of my adult life has been a struggle to being successful in the health part of that balancing I am working on. I have many times been successful in my quest for fitness.

Going back to the year 2010 I found myself overweight, unhappy, hopeless and struggling to figure out how to change that. I had been diagnosed with hypothyroidism and even though it meant that something was wrong with my body, I felt hope for the first time in a very long time. Hope that with a lot of hard work I could lose the weight. And I did!! I have always loved to exercise and was doing videos (turbo jam, etc) and going to step aerobics and that helped, I lost some weight. Then I took up running and it seemed like the inches flew off. I went from a size 18/20 to a size 14 by some time in 2011. I stayed in a size 14 for a very long time. It was so hard to lose any more weight. Then I bought Insanity……in two weeks’ time I went from a size 14 to a tight 10. I was ecstatic.  I hadn’t been that size since before my daughter was born. I kept up with the routine for quite some time. I remember the summer being spent riding bike with my husband, running and alternating beachbody workouts.

Then in 2012 there were a couple of storms brewing up in my life. My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, my son and niece were going to college, my best friend moved away and my mom had a brain aneurysm.  Fast forward a few months my sister was doing great, the son and niece were adjusting well to college, my best friend was so happy in her new home and my mom’s brain surgery was a success. So what is the problem you may wonder?? I forgot to take care of me. I quit exercising, gained weight and lost control over my life.

It is now 2015 and I still have some storms going on, but they are calming down. I am healing from an injury on both of my feet. But I am ready to make a fresh start. I am ready to live again. I am ready to find a nice balance in my life. A balance that allows me to feel great, spend lots of time with God and my family and find financial peace.  I hope you will join me in weathering your storms and finding balance in your life.

I would love to gt to know you please hop over to facebook and like my page. https://www.facebook.com/tonihealthandfitness?ref=hl

 

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A Room With a View

Watched the Passion of the Christ last night, well the tail end of it and was reminded how much our Lord loves us.

My Journey to Sainthood

Today is day 2 of Writing 101.

Today’s Prompt: If you could zoom through space in the speed of light, what place would you go to right now?

A Meadow Like You have Never Seen

If I could be transported anywhere, anywhere of my choice I would go to a place where there is no anxiety, no death, no fear, no sin or heartache.

I would go where there is abundance of love, justice, mercy, friendship and intense joy.

I would go to the place where I can feel His love.

I want to hear songs of praise. Praise to our Lord. I want to be in a place where I can love Him purely and fully.

I would sit in beauty that I have never seen before and see my loved ones who have left Earth.

In a grassy meadow with grass greener than I can imagine here in…

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A Place to Call Home

My Journey to Sainthood

Today’s Prompt: Where did you live when you were 12 years old?Which town, city, and country? Was it a house or an apartment? A boarding school or foster home? An airstream or an RV? Who lived there with you?

Today’s twist: pay attention to your sentence lengths and use short, medium, and long sentences as you compose your response about the home you lived in when you were twelve.


When I was twelve years old, my mom, my younger sister and I lived in a one bedroom apartment. Mom and dad had split up and mom was working all the time even at night at a bar in order to save money for the down payment on the house she wanted so bad.

Mom was tired of moving all the time. She was tired of the packing the car full of our stuff and leaving town when her and…

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Garden, weather, flowers, patience or lack thereof,

My Journey to Sainthood

The weather has been teasing me for the past month! Temperatures fluctuating between 20’s and 70’s, I am thrown into the confusion of the multi-personality disorder of the weather. Don’t get me wrong, I am forever thankful that we don’t have much snow left on the ground but my poor bones can take the chill much longer. I check weather.com on a regular basis hoping for warmer temps. Next week brings us……..

weather


So I am having pretty flowers dancing all over in my head, seriously lots of beautiful colors like these beauties from our flower garden last year.

10471194_10203681736497690_2704610405987148391_n(1)Sorry about the quality I am not a photographer, but one day hope to take the time to learn.


Gelatians 6:22 In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness,

I am reminded that we should be patient in all things. Warmer weather will come when…

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writing 101

A Place to Call Home

Today’s Prompt: Where did you live when you were 12 years old?Which town, city, and country? Was it a house or an apartment? A boarding school or foster home? An airstream or an RV? Who lived there with you?

Today’s twist: pay attention to your sentence lengths and use short, medium, and long sentences as you compose your response about the home you lived in when you were twelve.


When I was twelve years old, my mom, my younger sister and I lived in a one bedroom apartment. Mom and dad had split up and mom was working all the time even at night at a bar in order to save money for the down payment on the house she wanted so bad.

Mom was tired of moving all the time. She was tired of the packing the car full of our stuff and leaving town when her and dad would fight. So she was buying a house. A place to call her own. This time when they had a fight and we moved out, we didn’t leave town. Mom was buying a house. I can still remember how excited she was. It was going to be hers and no one could tell her she had to leave.

I was only twelve and didn’t understand a lot about buying a house. I remember her telling me that they were bringing the house in two pieces and putting it on the foundation that would be the basement. She reminded me that she was working so much so she could buy us a house to live and stay in.

On a pretty day in the spring mom told us we were going to see the house. It was almost ready to move into. We pulled up and it was sitting there on the foundation. It looked like it was new. There was no grass just dirt. They hadn’t put the porch on the front or the back door. The house was still on the semi truck and house sat on the corner at the end of the street. There weren’t many houses. They had just begun to build houses in this area of town. The house was white, facing  the cross street, 7th West. The shutters were yellow. There was a big window that looked into the living room. There was also another smaller window that was one of the bedrooms.

We got out of the car and went to the back door. I don’t really remember why the back door. My thought today would be that it was because we would use the back door in the future so we didn’t walk on the new carpet. Or maybe the front door was locked, I am not sure.

Mom must have climbed the side of the house to open the door because as I mentioned there was no porch, but she opened the door and then we climbed in. Mom told us to take our shoes off as soon as we were in the house. It was so bright. There were no curtains, no blinds so the sun was shining directly into the house. Mom took us around the house to see there two bedrooms upstairs and a bathroom. The dining room was separated by a wall that would later be taken out to build a bar with cupboards. I don’t think we went downstairs. But I remember sitting on the floor in the living room. The carpet was tan and would later be soiled with red koolaid when we moved in, an incident my sister immediately regrets because she knows she is not supposed to be taking food or drink into the living room. The three of us girls dreaming about the day we moved in. This is one of my favorite memories growing up. A time when it was just my mom, my sister and I.

This house meant so much to my mom, and to us. We had a home. We didn’t really understand it at the time but as the years passed and we left the house we realized that it was our home. No more moving all over. Even through the uncertainty of mom and dad’s relationship we grew to know that this was our house. Mom worked so hard for the house that she still lives in today with my dad. It’s strange to hear of her talking about selling the house and I can see the pain it causes her when she talks about it. She wants to retire and move to a warmer climate. She has a ranch there that is waiting for her to make it her residence. I am sure that with the talk of selling the house comes the uncertainty of where her home will be.

But the house has served a wonderful purpose. It was home to my sister and I growing up. It still feels like home when I visit. It will be very strange when someone buys the house and makes it their home.

writing 101

Compromising as a daily habit.

Writing 101, Day 14

Today’s Prompt: Pick up the nearest book and flip to page 29. What’s the first word that jumps off the page? Use this word as your springboard for inspiration.


Deuteronomy 7:2

Make no treaty with them and show them no mercy.

It seems like every minute of every day we are faced with compromise. When the alarm goes off do we get right up or do we compromise and hit the snooze button saying just five more minutes? On our fourth cup of coffee do we decide to have a fifth as long as we have a two full glasses of water?

The definition of compromise:

verb: settle a dispute by mutual concession.

I seem to be losing a battle. The battle of what to eat. The constant making a treaty with the enemy so I can eat what I want knowing that the results of the compromise are going to show up on the scale or the tightness of my clothing

There will be no more compromising with the enemy. I will trust God to nourish my body and mind. I will learn not to rely on myself or other sources to find the nourishment my mind and body crave.

But until then, I will go work in the garden after my fifth cup of coffee.

writing 101

Writing 101, random letter.

I am a bit behind on my post for the course I am doing Writing 101. So playing a little catch up.

Today’s Prompt: You stumble upon a random letter on the path. You read it. It affects you deeply, and you wish it could be returned to the person to which it’s addressed. Write a story about this encounter.


Mommy, I am ok.

He came to me in a dream.

Sat next to me and said.

I have tried so hard to talk to my mommy.

She can’t hear me, her sadness is too much.

I need you to tell her for me.

That I am ok.

I get to sit on Jesus’ lap every day.

Tell my mommy that I love her.

Tell my mommy that Jesus loves her.

Tell her that I am all better now.

Tell her she is the best mommy ever.

And thank her for letting me be in the safest place ever.

I am in Jesus’ lap.

And I can’t wait to see her again.

When Jesus calls my mommy to sit in his lap.

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Serially Lost. Part 2

“You have got to promise me you won’t pray, asking that he doesn’t get the job and we don’t move. We are miserable here and need to leave.”

Those words stung as my best friend spoke them. She said it with pleading in her eyes. I looked at her wanting it to be a joke. But knowing that she needed me to let her go. I had noticed for weeks she had been pulling away. Finding less and less time for me. It was on my mind for days. Finally,I prayed but not the way I would normally have prayed. I prayed for understanding and strength. I realized that I needed to let her go. I had to quit being selfish. She was not mine to keep in a town she wasn’t happy in. She had a husband and children to think about. So, I let her go. I cried when I told my husband it was time for me to let her go. I had never had such a close friend. Someone I knew I could share everything with and she would never judge me. She was a friend that would love me through the times I was unlovable and remind me when I needed to be a better person. She comforted me when I doubted. She and her family taught me so much about loving unconditionally. She helped me to learn to let my children be who God wanted them to be, not who I thought they should be. She helped me see how important it was to be a loving wife. Her time with me was done. God sent her to me. I believe that with all of my heart. I watched her give things away, pack things up and there would be resentment, I prayed it away. There was anger, I prayed it away. She promised me that our friendship would not change with the distance. I prayed this was true. And it has been true. She is still my closest friend 861 miles away. We haven’t seen each other for two years. but every time we pick up the phone it feels like we are sitting at the table together.

This was the first bit of news I was to receive that would send me on a downhill spiral. At this time I had been running for two years. I felt like I could accomplish just about anything. I had a new wardrobe. I felt comfortable in my own skin. My faith was on fire. I had no idea what was about to happen in my life. There was no preparing for it.

“I still cannot believe Makayla and Sean are going to college!” seemed to be part of every one of the conversations between my sister and I for months. My sister’s daughter Makayla and my son Sean are only months apart in age. Sean, born in November then came Makayla in March. Now they were going to college! Both my sister and I were struggling to come to terms with it. So scary. The thought of them leaving us into a world we couldn’t protect them from. Graduation parties, plans for moving them to college, where was the money going to come from. But we got through it, but not without other things to deal with.

Out of the blue my sister called me at work. This never happens, I mean never. She texts. She emails. But she doesn’t call. So I new this was important. I tried to play it off as normal. “I have something I need to tell you” she said. It felt like my heart jumped into my stomach. I felt sick. I knew something was wrong. I didn’t want to hear what she had to say. “A while back I found a lump in my breast” she said. I said “ok” I sounded all calm. But inside I was a mess. How could this be, she is so young. She has already been through so much and now this?!? She said she was waiting for the results of the biopsy and would know later in the week. I said ok, well its going to be benign. Your too young for it to be cancer. No worries. It seemed like an eternity for the call to come that week. She called me. Again, with the phone. I knew it wasn’t good. She said “it’s cancer, I have to have to go in and talk to the doctor”. Later than month we knew that within a week of taking the kids to college she would be in the hospital have a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. But God is always with us. Everything went great. She had the surgery, recovered well and didn’t have to do any treatments. God is good!

I had been running intermittently. it was getting harder and harder to keep a schedule. There was so many things going on it was getting harder and harder to take care of myself. I kept thinking things will slow down. I will get my groove back. Meanwhile, my best friend was getting settled in her new home, my son and niece were off to college and my sister was home recovering from her surgery. It was now November. I was at lunch with my mom. She tells me she is waiting for a call from her doctor about some testing she had done. They were worried with her symptoms that she had MS. We were in the middle of our all you can eat salad bar when her cell phone rang. I could tell by her demeanor it wasn’t good news. She hung up her cell phone and said, “I have a brain aneurysm.”  I remember thinking “a brain aneurysm and we are sitting here having lunch, shouldn’t we be at the hospital??” I finally said “well what are they going to do?” I was just shocked that she just kept eating her salad. She said, “I have to go talk to the doctor.” There is nothing more infuriating than to be told of some grave illness just to be told ” I have to go talk to the doctor”

It wasn’t long after that my mom had her brain aneurysm surgery. Everything went great. I don’t remember exactly how long the surgery was. It was hours, but I don’t remember how many. She went home and recovered well.

It literally felt like someone took my life in one of those snow globes and shook it up. Everything went everywhere. But there came a time when everything settled down. Everyone was doing well. Everyone but me. I quit taking care of myself and the weight had crept back on. The low self esteem returned. The running stopped. Any exercise at all stopped. I got so busy taking care of everyone else I stopped taking care of me. I knew then what I know now and that it was important to take care of myself. I just couldn’t find the energy to do it. I am still struggling to find the energy to do it. Finding the courage to start over again. Finding the courage to find the thing that I lost, myself.  Wondering if I start over again, will it all fall apart around me again?

This is part 2 of a 3 part series.  You can go back and read part 1 here.