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Writing 101, Part 1 of 3. Serially Lost

This is going to be a series of 3 blogs. This is new to me so bear with me if it becomes confusing. I am just learning and hoping to only get better as I write and write some more.

Running

It’s been three years, closer to four years since I lost something so important to me. What did I lose you ask. I lost myself. I lost my self esteem.

For two years prior I had found something that I loved. I found a firm ground to stand on. Running. I loved the feeling of sweating for 20-30 minutes, wondering if the run was going to be successful or if I was going to feel defeated because my legs felt to heavy to run for long. It took me a long time to build that endurance to run. Running intervals helped me to build endurance. Showed me what my body was capable of. There was such a satisfaction at the end of the runs knowing that I had pushed a little harder.

After years of exercising and yoyo dieting, I finally found the thing that my body responded to so well. Running. Such a love/hate relationship. I didn’t love running, but running loved me. My body took on a new life of its own. Fitting into pants that I had given up hope on ever wearing. Having curves in places I forgot existed.

Running taught me that I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for.  It showed me that my mind keeps me from accomplishing things that I am fully capable of doing. My mind tells me I can’t when I really can.

For two years, I took something I wanted and broke it up into bite size pieces. First, I went to the outdoor track and just started. I could barely jog 30 seconds at a time. But no one was watching, I had no one to impress but myself. I kept going back. My lungs would hurt, they would constrict and I would start wheezing. But I chose not to give up. I made an appointment to talk to my doctor. She diagnosed me with exercise induced asthma and gave me prescription for an inhaler. I went home with inhaler in hand. Then I went back to the track with my inhaler. It was still hard. But I wasn’t giving up. I decided that I would take in inside at the local recreation center. Very nervous. I didn’t really want anyone to see how I struggled. But I rationalized that being inside would decrease the pollutants and my breathing would be easier, also running on a treadmill would be easier. And I was right. Before I knew it I was running 1 min intervals. Then 3 minutes. I followed Jeff Galloway’s running program. I made playlist of songs that I knew to be distracting and motivating. I covered the screen with a piece of paper so I couldn’t see the time. I still remember the fear I had the whole week prior to my first 20 minute run. Then the total elation I felt at completing that full 20 minutes. I was flying high for days. Eventually, I didn’t need the inhaler anymore. My lungs had gotten stronger over time. I made sure to run on scheduled days wherever I was. If I was going on a date night out of town, I would check to be sure they had a treadmill so I didn’t miss a day.

What did I learn. That if I can take my goals and break up into time increments, I can accomplish anything I want. That sometimes I might need some help for awhile like with an inhaler until I can do it on my own. Consistency is required. With no consistency, there will be no progress. I learned that by giving my body the exercise it needed with proper nutrition I was operating at my best in all areas of my life.

I also learned that that can be taken away at any time. It happens so suddenly, so fast. Before you know it, you are looking in the mirror at a woman who is sad, frustrated and has lost hope. A woman who has gained weight on her body frame and lost faith in herself. A woman who has stopped putting one foot in front of the other.

You may wonder with all the positive talk about running, how I lost it. Come back for part 2 and I will share with you what happened in a short six month period that shook my world and how I lost myself during that time.

Part        2

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3 thoughts on “Writing 101, Part 1 of 3. Serially Lost

  1. Beautiful post. I am so proud of how you went about starting to run. I used to ride my bike 10 miles a day, got sick and got out of the habit and now I never do it and my body shows it! I am trying to get back to “that place”. I used to be so excited at night for morning just to go out and ride my bike. I haven’t read part two of your blog yet but will ASAP. I love how you designed it. It’s really amazing looking and I used to own my own Decorating (Wall Art) in meaning Paint…business. You’ve done a great job on your blog and I’m impressed. Thanks for commenting on my last (first) Fiction Writing on here. 🙂

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    1. Thank you! My husband and I used to ride bikes, we would get up to about 13 miles and it was so nice. It was much easier on his knees so he enjoyed it much more than walking. Thank you for taking the time to read my post, I really appreciate it. God Bless!

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